You Might Be New if You Started a Thread About...

[player1]

Hi there! You've been directed to this thread, becuz the friendly folks at You Might Be New Industries wanted to give you a chance to read this brief introduction before actually going ahead and clicking on the pretty "New Topic" button. If you have ever started a thread about any of the following subjects, you just might be that new around here that you don't know how boring, redundant and useless such threads are. Now, you might be new, but you dont want to be that new (ick!), do you? Thanks for reading, and by doing so, trying to make an effort to be a little less new.

Cheers!
from:
The Friendly Folks @ UmightBnu Industries, bringing you a slightly wizened Tremulous community since sometime last year

You Might Be New if You Started a Thread About...

1) "Alienz r 2 hard" (to either beat or play as)

2) proposed stickies (always brings ridicule, usually from mods)

3) lookit this funny video¹, duh... hyuk-haw-hardee-har

4) i just started a clan consisting of me

    4a) i'm just announcing this clan for someone else

    4b) my bro was using my account/computer/GUID/clantag

    4c) i start 4 clans a week 'cuz acronyms fascinate me

5) i got kicked/banned/slapped/treated poorly on ________ server

     5a) can i has admin on ________ server?

6) Tremulous has Aimbots!!!

     6a) I saw one!!!

7) 700 pictures of cats, fail, or any other gamer, insider, cutesy, warm and/or fuzzy crap (it's officially been done)

sunglasses smiley-face guy (blatant overuse of emoticons, colors, font size, or bbcode in general) #8

9) Is this a copy of NS?

     9a) What is Gloom?

10) Tremulous should have _____________

     10a) Why no third race like Starcraft?

     10b) You know what engine you guys should use?

     10c)² When is Tremulous iteration_dot_next coming out? (and here's what I think should be in it)

11) HELP ME NOW!!!MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK!!!IM NEW & IMPORTANT!!!I LIKE EXCLAIMING!!!

12) Operating System "A" sucks/rules/blows/dominates as compared to Operating System "not-A"

13) sum1 has bin impersonating me/my friend/my clantag/my clanmate - BAN HIM nao plz!!! 

     13a) people on the intarwebz has secret identities! (and this may affect their scruples!!!)

14) Mapping in the Servers sub-forum/Servers in OT 

15) can has avatar?

     15a) u suck as admin/mod/dev/coder; how do i make a poll to kick/ban/revoke/censure u?

16) i'm back! (didja miss me?)

     16a) i quit! (again?)

     16b) my internets is teh borked/fixed/re-borked

17) wow Trem uses real words that exist in books!

18) Trem is teh dead/dying/ruined/borked/forked/life-is-no-longer-worth-living

     18a) i refuses to play w/ n00bs/pr0s/clannerz/non-klannerz/multi-klannerz/pub-playerz/laggerz 

     18b) my new server excludes n00bs/pr0s/clannerz/non-klannerz/multi-klannerz/pub-playerz/laggerz

     18c) only my idea will save Trem from certain death, utter ruin and imminent borkification (itz already ruined by free_code_name_here)

edit'd for smiliness

re-edit'd to make techhead happy

add'd #11: STOP YELLING YOU FREAKING N00BZ!!!

#12 also applies to browsers, monitors, game engines, or wtf/e else may blow/suck/rule/dominate

add'd #13: who gives a fuck, especially when u have no ip or GUID to offer?

add'd 5a: Asking for admin usually assures that one will never get admin!

add'd 14: if u can't SEARCH, at least read the names of the publicly accessible sub-forums

add'd 4a, b & c: becuz Lonly violated all three in one post

¹#3: img, link, joke, comic, website, rant, diss, hot chick, cool commercial game, blah, yadda, wtf/e...

²see sub-classifications of 10c here

add'd 15 & 15a, my newest favorite dept. of rendundancy dept. threads

add'd 16, 16a & 17 in one post

type 16b add'd

18, 18, 18b, 18c in one post: quad damage!!!!

[hitchen1]

granger spit = tastey

[E-Mxp]

Ill pick "Eat granger spit and die, n00b!"

[CreatureofHell]

STFU + GTFO!


  sunglasses smiley-face guy

LOL

[Steely Ann]

through no fault of the cupidity or short-sightedness of the thread-starter,

Spiffy.  Another word to add to my "slang bank".  Unless of course you meant the usual meaning of "greed", though that doesn't quite fit.

Also, you missed out on a great Rickroll oppurtunity, Playa.

[Shadowgandor]

same as you did ^^[/url]

[ShadowNinjaDudeMan]

So, you just smashed your own proposition, no. 2.

But other than that I heartily support these.

Especially 3-7

[Kaleo]

I like cat threads...

Cat

[n00b pl0x]

script kiddy thinking hes leet for making a 700 picture cat post obviously tops the list

[thirdstreettito]

lawlzagaweeb! STFU + GTFO

[PIE]

I hereby propose a new sticky thread in this Off-Topic subforum, namely, a thread listing threads that we've seen ad nauseum, don't care to see again, and in which, through no fault of the cupidity or short-sightedness of the thread-starter, we will flame him relentlessly, and with no quarter.

Screw that..  a flaming quarter is the perfect weapon..


I suggest we flame people who make polls on every thread they ever make even though the thread doesn't need a poll, and then, even though a poll that could make sense still could be pulled off they instead opt for some kind of useless poll wasting valuable space... and i suggest that we flame them with quarters!

[techhead]

I broke 3 rules:
2 (sticky me), 4 (me-clan), and 10 (Trem should...).
The funny thing is, I never got flamed for any of those, and my proposed sticky actually got stickied.

[thirdstreettito]

third

What?

[BunnyTheLifeguard]

third

What?

You should stop spamming.

[Superpie]

third

What?

You should stop spamming.

Good reply.

[Death On Ice]

third

What?

You should stop spamming.

Good reply.

Quote Spam!

Also, I've already asked Tito to stop spamming...

He just won't.

[techhead]

I miss the ten-item list
You should make 7 into 6a, and 13 into a 10a, and by the way is always worth a laugh in lists.

[player1]

Done.

[Shadowgandor]

10) Tremulous should have _____________

...
That sounds familiar....

[mooseberry]

third

What?

You should stop spamming.

Good reply.

What an idiot...

[player1]

10) Tremulous should have _____________

...
That sounds familiar....

I've broken all ten of these "rules". That's why I post them here, as a warning to future generations of Tremulous n00bs, so they won't have to endure the searing flames of psychologically-scarring hurt and contempt that I've been made to feel.

Also, I've already asked Tito to stop spamming...

He just won't.

I think he wants to know how many columns wide the karma counter is, and he figures one direction is as notorious as the other.

[Eyn Xaeyn]

im guilty of making a poll about whether or not there should be a 'starcraft mod'

[thirdstreettito]

I have nothing better to do...I have no car, thats why. lol

[player1]

Now just replace the word "car" with the word "life" and you've gotten to the heart of the matter.

[Death On Ice]

Ouch.

But seriously, Tito, if you want people to like you more, don't make posts that say one word, such as 'nein'. It just makes your low, low, karma get lower.

[Kaleo]

I vote to stickeh this!

[player1]

I vote to stickeh this!

Note: Added Number 11: The Screaming N00b Award!!!

Necro-Bump Note: Added 10b, the Dreaded Engine Change Suggestion

OP's log, supplemental: Add'd 10c, the "When is the Next Version Due?" Inquiry (closely followed by the "Ya wanna know what I think?" list of silly ideas)

ditto: Add'd 12, the Wretched OS Comparison Rant

ditto: intro completely re-worked, delete your non-sequitar replies while you can

[player1]

Just because it deserved saying again: Moderators really should think about making a similar sticky, but apparently the current newbs are so n00bish they can't even find sticky threads. 

[player1]

necro-bump triple-post:

add'd #13: The "Ban This Impersonator Now! (ofc I can provide no ip/GUID)" Thread

[Kaleo]

I vote to stickeh this!

I still vote to stickeh this!